The Bitcoin Babe

Beginners

Dear Scott,

I have been trying to find a partner and get married for a while. Recently, I was matched with a guy on a dating app and we got to talking. He kept saying money is very important to him. He said he’d like a partner who is a ‘digital shepherd’ who would carry his phones and laptops and work from anywhere in the world. I’m an engineer, love my job, and don’t want to be a digital shepherd, yet the idea of having a husband got me interested.

He said he’d teach me to trade crypto, so I put $2,000 of my hard-earned money into the FTX Pro app.

After a while I got suspicious and said I’d like to do it either face to face (I have never met him) or stop and get my money back. He got very defensive and threatening, and told me I’d face consequences and he’d stop talking to me. I have reported him to cyber crime, and reported his profile on the dating app. But my money is still trapped in FTX Pro. How can I get it back?

Shyla

Hi Shyla

There is no way my answer is going to be anywhere near as entertaining as your question!

So, in summary, a random dude you met on the internet who told you he was looking for a shepherd … turned out to be a wolf. Don’t beat yourself up: you’re not the first person this has happened to, nor will you be the last!

Oh, and don’t feel bad about losing money to a scammer, either. Sequoia Capital is a legendary American fund manager that employs the smartest people in the world, including the very best graduates from Harvard, Stanford and Yale.

Well, these geniuses invested $US210 million ($A313 million) into the crypto exchange you used, FTX. FTX is run by 30-year-old Sam Bankman-Fried, hailed as the ‘next Warren Buffett’. Sequoia loved the fact that Sam played video games in their investment meetings instead of listening to them.

Well, it turns out Sam was also a wolf. This week his crypto exchange has collapsed, with billions in customer deposits apparently gone.

Who would’ve thought that a 30-year-old living in the Bahamas with a 10-person “drug-fuelled sexual polycule” (tip: don’t google that term on your work computer) would turn out to be a little wolfy?

Sequoia, meanwhile, has written down their $US210 million investment to $0.

I hope I’m wrong, but I suspect you might need to do the same.

Scott.

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